Today, one of my mentors posted something about the Fear of People's Opinion or FOPO.
And a dear friend commented on it saying how FOPO has killed more dreams than any other thing in the world.
Have been thinking about it since then!
We all want adulation. We all love it. We don't want to hear criticism. We dislike it.
From childhood, many of us are taught to seek approval. Hence, we end up losing self-esteem thereby being under confident about our own abilities, decisions, choices and ourselves.
The urge to please others is so high that we end up handing over the remote control to someone else.
As I was looking for answers I came across 3 things today:
1. A quote from an article I read.
“If I could never tell a single person about my achievements, would I still pursue them?”
Important to ask this to ourselves and get a deep understanding of why we want something. Is it to please the world and get noticed or because that's what we really want to do. Conviction.
2. A dialogue from a movie I watched this morning. Argo.
"If we wanted applause, we would have joined the Circus."
I have watched this movie a hundred times, so I usually skim through to the parts I love. This gives a reality check. I have pursued positive comments many a times to be just disappointed. Funny part: The moment I cared less about what someone thought about my work, I started getting recognised more.
So as Rumi said, "What you seek is seeking you"
3. Another dialogue from a beautiful movie I ended up watching today. (I'm slightly under weather, so movies are a good way to pass time). You must watch this movie. It's in Marathi and available on #Netflix.
Ani... Dr. Kashinath Ghanekar.
"You know what's more tragic than failing at what you are good at?
Succeeding at what you're bad at"
Of course, there is a context to this dialogue. It is why he wants to do a street play despite being a hit in cinema and having 4 offers in the pipeline. But to understand and pursue what the heart wants despite the worldly adulation of the work you don't enjoy, is real freedom.
"Better to be your own failure than someone else' success" - swami
And what it takes is and immense understanding of self, courage to do what you want to and taking a risk like a friend who quit his job to pursue his love for interior designs and owning up all your decisions.
So, the next time you feel the urge to know what the world feels about you listen to this beautiful composition by RD Burman. Written by Anand Bakshi. And the voice of God Kishore Kumar.
"Kuch toh log kahenge,
logon ka kaam kenha..
Chodo bekaar ki baaton mein,
kahin beet na jaye raina."